Currently, I am still working on my essay for the Nanyang Scholarship, which is like due tomorrow. I actually bought “爱情万岁” to reward myself after completing the application. However, it doesn’t seem to work. I am still not focused on the task, the brand new album is still lying beside my computer. This is totally atrocious. I need to be forced into doing things nowadays. ): I should go complete the last paragraph now.
it was totally disgusting. the wait. the confusion. the inefficiency. it’s so – wtf. grr!
complains aside. the fact that it happened hasn’t seem to sink into my head yet.? it was hard to imagine that he was close to leaving. i was in a blank state. i couldn’t ask questions; i didn’t think of what if this happened, what if that happened; nothing came to me. no wonder i was quite lost at work today.
congratulations to all my friends on receiving their A level certificates. whether they were good or bad, i think we are all trying to overcome this turning point in our lives and are making tough decisions. i’m sure everything will turn out fine for my friends. as long as we stay happy, nothing will go wrong. (:
applause to 71! yey, we all did well. some of us were really stunned by our results, especially econs, for either we had no idea what we wrote or we did not complete our essays. anyways, i’m happy for my classmates. the hard work really paid off. we hung around in school to thank our teachers to six odd before having dinner at an Italian restaurant near school. the girls had some lot of fun vandalising doodling on the mahjong paper there, haha.
we then left for ben and jerry, where mister yang zeqi, our 8 distinction scholar treated us to the 20 scoop monster tub. cheryl and i were sitting at the far edge, making it hard for us to scoop. hence, we decided to stone and make pauline seah serve us, lol. da bing ge was also sabo-ed to sing “jenny” along with the live band, haha.
in all, friday was really tiring. i woke up early (something really rare these days), for a run at hwachong (which is even more rare). didnt manage to finish the run for i got dizzy again, ZZZ. the school compound feels different. i have been working underground for three months and i miss the air outside. i miss the noise at the benches, i miss the sun, i miss the breeze at school. i miss seeing the people i want to see, the friends that i want to be part of my life. sigh, i miss school.
i went to ntu open house with sao the next morning. got a paper bag full of brochures and goodies home, it was really heavy. hmm, it was good that i could learn more about the course i want but i got quite uneasy with the fact that i may be going to a university that was so easy accessible to others. accessible not in geographical terms but in figurative terms. i need to give this more thought in the coming weeks. will have to work on scholarships now.
left for huangcheng at around noon. it was great to see what we can do at huangcheng again. the theatre never fails to show me that endless possibilities do exist and how much we can do with our lives. i miss being so passionate about what i do. i miss being useful. it is the kind of zhi zhuo of huangcheng ren that makes our performances, our work so touching. no wonder seniors come back every year to watch the show, to sing “chang yi shou hua chu de ge” with the juniors again and again. wenen and i had our fair share of excitement as we screwed up the zong cai xie mu, lol. anyway, well done juniors. you deserve all the ovation.
my little nephew come over to my house ytd! heh, he is just so cuteeeeeeeeeeee.
stick out your tongue!
he’s doing his fake yawn!
i am getting confused, uncertain and vexed.
(: oh my godz! i got their signatures and shook their hands! but shi tou/stone wasnt ard, sad. haha. but ashin <33 oh my godz. think he kinda dyed his eyebrows and grew fat. haha. i reached bugis at round 1640h, when the event was supposed to start at 1900h. goodness me, there was already a queue. thank god i met this friendly fan, huiling, in front of me in the queue. (: heh, chatting helped to kill time. then beeying came. ahh~ everyone went snapping, snapping. oh my goodness, it was so insane of me to be one of them, haha. peifen was rather kelian, stood there for a whole event. she is one cute lady, heh my senior (: mayday was kelian too, they signed for almost 2 hours. beeying and i finished our dinner at macs after getting their signatures and posters, they were still signing! even after we left! haha. sigh sigh!
i went home for a nap after passing my basic theory evaluation in the morning and guess what? i overslept to 1! haha, and met sao and gang at 1430 instead. lol. sneaked in to kbox with them for a while before leaving for the qian chang hui. haha, i miss fooling around in school, double sigh. all the best dinny winny/winkwink (:
sao, unglam (:
pauline seah, singing (:
hug wink (:
wink wink and myself (:
got a scare on my way home, ):
received a letter from cornell today. it got me all nervous, cos i thought it was results on application. but it was so not. it was just a reminder that my application is not complete and requests me to send the missing material. the letter was dated on 19 Feb and it’s 4th March today, wee. haha. (forgot to mention that the letter had the cornell watermark, oh my god)
sylvia has been stuck in the confused state for too long. thank you, vick, for reminding me that i have no time to waste. i should so stop wasting my time and my friends’ time in whining over silly things. stop being weak, sylvia. just do what you need to do. your concept was always to be the one giving and not the one throwing tantrums. and thank you, friends, for at least i know now that there are friends who still love me for who i am and will help me in fighting my weaknesses and building my strengths. and thank you, for accompanying me the whole day too. it helped a lot, seriously. and now, i know that i can do more than just crying alone when i face such problems again. sylvia won’t continue to be a hermit crab. i don’t need to care if a particular person values me cos more importantly is how i value that person. i miss myself being noisy and easy going, just like how i always behave with 71, with huangcheng, with rvians, with my family. all these nonsense has to stop. cut the crap and move on. stop pretending to be confused and psyching yourself into that state cos things will never turn better that way.
and about the can of worms, sigh. i should never doubt my mother about such advices. they really turn out to be the best way to handle things in the world outside of home and school. i only hope that people can stop freaking me out with all those rubbish tactics. i want peace.
results will be out on friday. honestly, i claim to be nervous and worried but feelings aren’t that intense yet. hope i don’t cry on friday. whether they turn out good or bad. i cried real badly despite doing well for Os.
oh my god! i am meeting mayday tmr <3 i can’t wait.