biabia (:

This special form of fear is extremely familar. I experienced this for the first blocs back in college. I remember being totally pwned by enormity of the scope and depth of 4 A level subjects. Was totally lost about what the hell to study. My mind was totally blank and I could not recall a single piece of shit about the syllabuses. Well the advice given was take this as a wake up call, a lesson that i have to start preparing for examinations early.

Now it comes again. In similar intensity. AB102. I am so dead. Thank goodness I am not gonna choose BnF, else I will regret for life. Gentle reminder to sylvia again: Don’t think that you have the brains cos you do not. One sem down and promise that the other five sems will not repeat itself. Just let it be and next sem will even out the shit.

i miss this feeling of exhilaration. i remember this experience most vividly in 2006. yv used to mean something damn lot. but i guess over these few years, my passion has shaken. it is tough to make me put studies and exams aside for yv. somehow, the tradition of infinte passion and enthusiasm is not so long now. but i guess this is a test for us now. and so far, the thrill that i am getting is truly satisfying. seriously, i was on the phone with my participants and i could feel that hype. can still feel it. the hype hype hype! goodness gracious. the season of giving, sharing and learning. woohoo. i can feel it coming. this must be another enjoyable experience for yv. and another especially memorable one month ahead (: jiayou, yv will pull through again. go commies, go tfs (:

less than a week since my re-migration, and i’m sure that i prefer where love and warmth is gillion times to where ugliness is rampant. i need at least three and a half days to truly feel what is happening at home. just being home during the weekend doesn’t help. it only helps to screw me up when i hear of something from home in campus. guess it is time to re-think about what exactly do i want to learn from throwing myself into the land of ugliness, how much have i learnt so far and am i really gonna venture further. pure sickness.

i once said that i could lock myself in a concert hall with mayday and listen to them perform for my whole life. i think i could also stay with these four people in any place, for many lifetimes; just as long as they are safe, sound and happy with me.

Nods filled up the awkward sliences. I’m always quite lost to what to say at such wakes as attendee. Totally clueless to what to say, what to ask, what not to ask.

However awkward it is, suppose it only feels right to be there to support.

“you have that enlighted look” -Vick Chi. LOL. that imba guy. i can feel yv cominggggggg! it’s always the season to feel the passion and hype all coming back. if only i could get to feel this every year, and feel how we are “joined at our hearts”