biabia (:

I THINK IT WAS A BRILLANT WEEKEND!

saturday was niceeeeeee. cos yv08 endedddddddd it was awesome to meet all the awesome people again. my group was so sweet. thanks for allllll the notes. (: super appreciated. thanks to lyon’s group for the speaker-cushion! HA. a thought came to me upon reading all the letters: what exactly have i done over this december that made people feel inspired about volunteering and that they had made a pleasant friend whom they would want to keep for life. (i found the answer, credits to nina:”you may not know but it is there” – YV song II) I was so FREAKING TOUCHED that i teared a little when reading the loooong letters from them and listening to the phone call. seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? It is totally scary that friends tell me that they have made an impact on their lives after our friendships started out for only a month. Totally, unbelievable.

our group!

Having a party with little time to plan was a bad idea. Having no budget for a party, catering to 50 people wasn’t pretty too. Marina Barrage is amazing, you can make all the noise at night. Ha. All was fun still (: Watching people play stupid games. HAHA. boxers on tracy, g-string on fahan, disgusting milkshake + saliva, sucking – from the milk bottle… HA, I hope the Vday dinner can realise man. Parties are so fun!

Guess the ingredients

John, happily sucking for a milk bottle

71 was great company! (: I miss allllll the niaoing I got from the boys. And I got it from the first moment I meet them at adams road fc. They just meng niao-ed me. Although I was losing my voice and getting ill, I was really happy to see them and be with them that night. I miss cai cai’s sexy voice, I miss maria’s wiki explanations, I miss calling “da bing ge”, I miss yumings angst, I miss paulines “xiang wo ma?”, I miss cheryls “darling”, I miss watching da sao eat xiao mi mi, I miss being enthu about being on time for lessons with elaine and mannying, I miss mitch’s gruchiness, I miss yows shyness, I miss ma’s sexy legs, I miss joannes smile, I miss hannahs: “huh?”, I miss watching foongs stone, I miss being niaoed about gary, I miss eeloongs playfulness, I miss chunruis crazy talks, I miss rebeccas blurness, I miss xiangsu’s quietness, I miss alicias long hair, I miss weixins answers, I miss yangs imba brains, I miss dennys cuteness, i miss watching ksiong sleep with his eyes open. i miss, i miss. didnt expect myself to miss hwachong, miss 71 sooooo much. life is no longer like before. ): i cant even speak to my uni friends the way i speak to 71 ): NIWAYS, I almost got dunked by yuming, mitch and bingge. lol, i forgot why i didnt get dunk, but it was damn tiring can. ha. yang’s place is a good one to dunk ppl, cos he has a washing machine AND drier at home. LOL. seriously.

And we did it, Bee, edmund goh and myself. After 5 hours of sitting at central, we got that piece of paper – the ticket to mayday’s OPEN AIR CONCERT at stadium green this coming sunday. Every year, it becomes crazier and crazier. It started off with albums, 100buck ticket, t-shirts, more albums, super ex t-shirt, album, 151buck ticket, shirt, album. And now, QUEUEING for a ticket for hours. luckily edmund went early at  6 plus. about 80 ppl were before him in the queue. those who came later were under the hot sun ): luckily they managed to get tickets too. We should had gone at 2pm. Didnt have to queue. LOL oh well, we were plain kiasu and paranoid. It was still cool being the first block to receive the tickets!

Got home and was super tired. Was so happy to be home once again cos I didnt sleep at home for 2 nights. Though, it always seemed to papa and mami that I had fun outside and I enjoy being outside, I am always truly glad to be home, safe and sound, to share with them and my brothers what happened outside, while watching the tv, dramas, eating meals, snacks. Man, school is starting and I’ve to return to where ugliness is rampant ): I need more strength to face this.

Thank goodness that results were fine. but it is no slacking time next sem. (:

I want some time alone. to think, of resolutions. of directions. to make decisions. time time time.

我有口难言。谢

没关系，我真的了解。。。

我无法想象，翻译两封信的回报竟然是意义那么重大五个字。他是费了多少力气和心思来慢慢地写那些笔挺的文字谢谢我。我也想对他说，我当时心里的感想也是有口难言。It was the second time i was on the verge of tears at attachment. There was so much human touch at those moments. Unbelievable. I’m so thankful and with all these, I will force myself to hang it there during sem 2. For now, it’s YV YV and YV (:

It was another special YV (: Why so? ‘Cause:

(1) Nina was with me. People always try to join activities and camps together with friends ‘cos they want to ensure that there is some assurance of comfort zone in a completely unfamiliar environment. But Nina, WX and myself joined YV not just because of that – we wanted to explore volunteering, we wanted to know more about what we could give; without knowing that we gained so much more. The fact that we could be in YV again together since 2005 is of great significance to me cos I managed to pull through alot with her around. I remember especially the words of encouragement in YV06, it gave me more drive to make that 4D3N exceptional for everyone at the camp then. It just felt different without the closest friends around – esp in 06, because I couldn’t share the joy with them. I grew so much in 06, but they aren’t there to witness my growth, to fix everything with me. Now I truly understand why Vick always wears that yellow vest while conducting wheelchair workshops, it is to bring as much presence of his buddy as possible while doing something that mattered to both so greatly. Since I managed to fulfil this wish of being in YV again with her, I think for now, it doesn’t matter to me whether it happens again in future. Or maybe, I will turn greedy and will only do it if we get to be involved together, shrugs. Although we didn’t get to share with each other the entire YV experience like we did in Chiangmai, suppose it still felt different with each other around. We kinda cried quite hard on the last day, lol.

(2) there was a TF camp. My first time witnessing this very important component in YV. And I’m sure the results were totally fabaluous. It’s like a omg: the #1 TFs are so close that although we got together for 6 months but it feels like I’ve known them for the last few years, just as close as other YV friends, or even closer. Ha, totally amazing, the way we go all out to help each other – discussing late at night, gathering to massage each other when we were really tired during workshops, the imba dance performance, the butt jerks, the ultimate #1 pose. I was also soooooooo freaking impressed at how some of us changed over the camp. YV is always horribly incredible in making us feel great realisation and gratefulness at the end of the camp.

(3) I’m a TF again (: I recall how fearful I was about conducting debriefs and handling participants in 05. Basically, I was not well informed about what is TF about, what is the role of a TF. Over the years, I was given opportunities to learn about facilitation and explore my own style in this. With more confidence, I wanted to make an impact participants directly once more. Honestly, I didn’t give this much thought until Xueping msged me to ask how did it feel like to be a TF again. Being part of the TF team was wonderful, and to have my group with me is another form is inspiration. My participants are like so optimistic, they face tasks and problems with utter confidence, little worry that touches me. Whenever I ponder about what YV, about volunteering, I think alot, perhaps I should try to worry less, at least it gives me more faith about making a difference.

(4) my faith was reignited. I was so sick of people for the last two months. I got to see stunningly ugly sides of human in school and hall. I was wondering if I should be so pure at heart, and to care for my friends that much. I got so shocked over how selfish people can be. I thought the togetherness, the search for bliss would cease to exist in times to come… Life was so bitter and it came around this December. I’m so freaking glad that YV and my family is with me this holidays. YV camp brought back all the memories with friends, and how these friends grew up with me. It reminded me that these friends will be true to me still, for the rest of my life. After all the highness, it was Genting with Limsimiteh. Totally awesome. Although we didn’t do much, but the feeling of hanging around with my cousins was great. It was another great reminder that no matter what happens outside, in school, at work, they won’t leave me to die, unless I did them wrong. This December is such a happy one. (: Gotta perk myself up to the brim before school starts in a while ):

Aye aye. There seems to be too much in life for me to handle. In fact, YV made me see all these inconvenient issues but yet its by-product of friendships made all these inevitable truths more bearable.