biabia (:

It was another special YV (: Why so? ‘Cause:

(1) Nina was with me. People always try to join activities and camps together with friends ‘cos they want to ensure that there is some assurance of comfort zone in a completely unfamiliar environment. But Nina, WX and myself joined YV not just because of that – we wanted to explore volunteering, we wanted to know more about what we could give; without knowing that we gained so much more. The fact that we could be in YV again together since 2005 is of great significance to me cos I managed to pull through alot with her around. I remember especially the words of encouragement in YV06, it gave me more drive to make that 4D3N exceptional for everyone at the camp then. It just felt different without the closest friends around – esp in 06, because I couldn’t share the joy with them. I grew so much in 06, but they aren’t there to witness my growth, to fix everything with me. Now I truly understand why Vick always wears that yellow vest while conducting wheelchair workshops, it is to bring as much presence of his buddy as possible while doing something that mattered to both so greatly. Since I managed to fulfil this wish of being in YV again with her, I think for now, it doesn’t matter to me whether it happens again in future. Or maybe, I will turn greedy and will only do it if we get to be involved together, shrugs. Although we didn’t get to share with each other the entire YV experience like we did in Chiangmai, suppose it still felt different with each other around. We kinda cried quite hard on the last day, lol.

(2) there was a TF camp. My first time witnessing this very important component in YV. And I’m sure the results were totally fabaluous. It’s like a omg: the #1 TFs are so close that although we got together for 6 months but it feels like I’ve known them for the last few years, just as close as other YV friends, or even closer. Ha, totally amazing, the way we go all out to help each other – discussing late at night, gathering to massage each other when we were really tired during workshops, the imba dance performance, the butt jerks, the ultimate #1 pose. I was also soooooooo freaking impressed at how some of us changed over the camp. YV is always horribly incredible in making us feel great realisation and gratefulness at the end of the camp.

(3) I’m a TF again (: I recall how fearful I was about conducting debriefs and handling participants in 05. Basically, I was not well informed about what is TF about, what is the role of a TF. Over the years, I was given opportunities to learn about facilitation and explore my own style in this. With more confidence, I wanted to make an impact participants directly once more. Honestly, I didn’t give this much thought until Xueping msged me to ask how did it feel like to be a TF again. Being part of the TF team was wonderful, and to have my group with me is another form is inspiration. My participants are like so optimistic, they face tasks and problems with utter confidence, little worry that touches me. Whenever I ponder about what YV, about volunteering, I think alot, perhaps I should try to worry less, at least it gives me more faith about making a difference.

(4) my faith was reignited. I was so sick of people for the last two months. I got to see stunningly ugly sides of human in school and hall. I was wondering if I should be so pure at heart, and to care for my friends that much. I got so shocked over how selfish people can be. I thought the togetherness, the search for bliss would cease to exist in times to come… Life was so bitter and it came around this December. I’m so freaking glad that YV and my family is with me this holidays. YV camp brought back all the memories with friends, and how these friends grew up with me. It reminded me that these friends will be true to me still, for the rest of my life. After all the highness, it was Genting with Limsimiteh. Totally awesome. Although we didn’t do much, but the feeling of hanging around with my cousins was great. It was another great reminder that no matter what happens outside, in school, at work, they won’t leave me to die, unless I did them wrong. This December is such a happy one. (: Gotta perk myself up to the brim before school starts in a while ):

Aye aye. There seems to be too much in life for me to handle. In fact, YV made me see all these inconvenient issues but yet its by-product of friendships made all these inevitable truths more bearable.