biabia (:

Lately, I’ve been ulti tired with ACE, with volunteering. Especially when reforms have been ongoing and I totally dislike the unpleasant effects of them. Things got me so frustrated that I often questioned myself, is this is best place to stay? Won’t I be better off with another group, or if I go pioneer another group?

I think after the TF training, I am super duper sure that I didn’t make the wrong choice to continue volunteering here. Ther concept is always the same, we do things, make mistakes, we share, brainstorm, care for one another, grow and finally inspire new volunteers to keep going. It stuck me that the feeling at ACE is the same as all the other volunteering experiences I enjoyed when I was having this really long chat with Alicia. It was long, but totally nice and heartwarming. It is the same thing I go through with YV peeps, we chat over our lives, what we believe in, what changes we hope to see, what do we treasure in life, what else we want to do in our lives… It’s really amazing, the way we forge and maintain our friendships. Even an inital intern who was supposed to help with admin stuff, get infected to feel the same as we do and enjoy the whole process with us, I think we are seriously amazing people who do amazing things.

Despite feeling like shit about straining my injuried ankles from all the shit load walking at ECP, I was really very very happy to go through another SVC activity. Daniel reminded me of my weakness when I was sharing about how distracted I am about like problems and loopholes we are facing. Honestly, I was having alot of difficulties concentrating on observing every little thing I could at training, making mental notes about them, and thinking of solutions calmly. I never know how to make small steps and not worry over little things. Cos I always get emotionally involved in every little problem I notice, I get too overwhelmed with the whole load of issues in front of me, and can never be able to solve them to my fullest ability. Haha, even though I was reminded of my old long weakness, it stills feels good to have an old friend sharing things close to our hearts. (:

These 2 days simply reassured me that I am right to stay on. I just knew that there was more to this. Everytime I returned with doubts, I always go home with a bag load of things to take away. Even if things turn out to be a complete failure, they can never take away my friends I know from volunteering, who can last me one lifetime.