biabia (:

A few days ago, I was still in disbelief that I was flying away in a week’s time. It seemed like rather surreal that it was coming.

Just this morning, I felt the scary vibes. Holy shit, I am flying in just 5 days. 5 days is so damn freaking short. I realised, all of a sudden, I haven’t met up properly with my good friends. I haven’t met RV friends properly. Only had this short prata supper with Kiats and WX. Short meet up with 2A. Didn’t even meet XYZ. Didnt meet Huang Cheng mates. Ha, man, now I regret not planning my holidays properly. It always happens.

Well, at least I didn’t let myself down in some aspects. I met 71 quite often. (: Times with the class are horribly enjoyable. From the dim sum buffet, gged class outing, taiwan trip discussion, MAMBO NITE, xlb buffet and Timbre. Man we met up so many times this summer! I won’t forget how Yuming rejected my request to join?the “male moment”, haha. We’ll go to Mt?Sophia or Art House when I am back!!!?Zeqi, don’t forget to plan Maria’s birthday!!!?I trust you with this very important task! ACE and YV stuff were done. Kept in touch with my volunteer friends.

Tonight’s meeting was the last YV 09 meeting I could attend. Our Book is almost done, just a little touching up left. I was in shock that it was my last meeting, actually. That’s why I couldn’t share all that I wanted to share with the comm just now. When YV08 ended, I told myself, I would only go back to YV if it doesn’t change. It is still the same old traditional YV, focusing on social service, training, grooming and growing students to make a difference in the society. Where we don’t use extravagent methods, nor imba physiological mapping to win the participants. Where we win their hearts using our hearts, and make them share the same feelings as we do, join our friendship that would last you a lifetime. If it were to change, I thought, I won’t come back.

Afterall, I still did. Change is inevitable. But at?least, the main structure of YV remained. YV08 was another impactful year, when I got to be a TF again. Got to bond with our awesome #1 TFs. Witness YV grow big with more participants. It made me feel so much better about life after that ugly half a year in NTU. That energiser turned Sylvia on full batt.?I told myself, I must come back to YV every year until I graduate from NBS.

It wasn’t easy to decide on going for exchange.?Besides issues on money, academic workload, specialisation, exposure etc, I was worried about my involvement in YV. Of?course, everyone will tell me pick going for exchange, cos it is once in a lifetime and I won’t regret it. True enough, but my attachment to YV was quite beyond what I imagined. I had a struggle to choose between being more involved in YV or to go for exchange. I choose the best of both worlds, to go for exchange and help out with YV as much as possible.

I’m very honoured to spearhead Our Book, to revamp the YV file and to revive the YV Chicken Soup, together with Nina, Hui Bin, Zhing and Kenny. About planning a YV camp, I am most comfortable and familiar with the procedures and things to be done. It was the first time I did somthing that was not concrete, with no formula to follow, with no seniors to consult. All I had was five brains and whatever creative juices we possessed. The whole process from conceptualising, to gathering materials, to compiling was enriching and different from what I used to do. I learned about working on a brand new project and my friends through a different media. Believe?I cuold have done better, the product could have been out earlier. But I guess, people have their failures at times, and for me, I was a little distracted from work. Had been swarmed with YV, preparation for the trip and meeting up with friends. I didn’t segement my time properly. I’m lucky to have gotten Our Book done and can fly off without much worries on this.

When Vick talked about how the comm should be working and the attitudes that we should carry, memories flashed back. He shared about how?I changed from a pessimist to an optimist with so much more energy to reach out to others. And he is right there, that was my life changing moment in YV. That made me so much more a better person and I hate going back to the negative self when I fell in the pool at times. In 2006, I learned about proper ettiques in a committee, the positive attitudes that we should have for our fellow friends in the comm, and how to brave to wind and storm because we believe in our good cause and we want to make YV a success. At times, we keep working on YV because it is an obligation, because I need to report at the next meeting, because this other person is chasing me for this. Yes, it is tiring and tedious, I know that. But I love this perception that Siew Mui shared before. There are many things we want in life. The route would never be easy, we need to work hard to realise these dreams, overcome obstacles that stop us from realising them, resist tempatations that distract our focus. All the hardships that we, as a team, go through, would never go to waste. We create a chance for 20 TFs to learn how to manage and facilitate a group. We create a chance for 200 participants to learn and practice direct volunteering. We create a chance for countless beneficiaries and friends there to enjoy a day of our company. See the multiplier effect? It just keeps going on and on.

Tonight, I was truly re-charged. I finally got to relive in one of those memorable 2006 meetings, where I could feel from the bottom of my heart that I am doing something meaningful, in the right way,?even without witnessing the end result yet. I observed how Vick links up all the little little events to this huge chain effect. It was just amazing. Wish I could do that one day, so that I can impact my friends better, for them to climb up this positive ladder and create a better world for us. Team Yv 2009, jiayou k, the show is still on and we will do up a great one! Keep me updated on how’s everyone going!! All the best for TF camp!! (:

One last family gathering before I fly. Thank goodness, I felt that urgency this morning, haha will fully utilise my tiem tommorrow (: Gonna have a list of things that I wanna eat before I fly off!!! :D

Over the holidays, I had this urge to transfer to SMU. All these time, I strongly believed that NBS was more superior, it was better for me and I made the right choice. I wanted a campus feel, not a city campus where many strangers pass by my school. I didn’t want to face the reality of the ugly truths of the world out there – realistic and competitive people, ruthless and unforgiving environment. I heard of how fake people can turn into under rigorous and competitive academic requirements, and thought I don’t want to face that for the next 3 to 4 years of university education. I hope to study at a more friendly and heartwarming place.

After a year, it turned out rather startling. Besides Endor, I haven’t seen other groups in NBS being so close as a class or group together. I thought like such close bonding and strong friendships could only be forged in our early school days when we were in secondary schools or JCs. To make things worse, my gloomy experience in a committee, I totally lost faith in finding true, close and passionate friends in college. Perhaps, I have been too lucky that all my life, I keep meeting with nice friends from RV, Hwa Chong and volunteering, that I find reality so hard to accept. Other than the social aspects, I begin to be less resentful about having tough training that simulates the real world setting. I recognise that I don’t seem to have enough time to prepare for the war after convocation and that SMU training is perhaps accelerated for better good. I feel ultra inadequate at my communication and marketing skills.

For the past 20 years, although many things went my way, there were many significant turning points that caught me by surprise. I would say the chance to study at RV was totally life changing. That’s where I met great teachers, awesome nice friends, learn erhu, know about volunteering, conducive studying environment, then the ticket to Hwa Chong. If not for that impossible 259, don’t think I am doing as well as I am currently. A friend from primary school once shared with me this famous Forest Grump quote: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. – until you try it”. Singaporeans have been trained to be highly resource and time efficient. We like to plan ahead and feel insecure about future incertainties. But I guess from this I learned that it is always too early to make a judgement. Even when I hear from many reliable sources about a certain view. Things might just happen and you never know how the universe will respond to it.

Similarly, I just witness how outrageous I can turn into. Evil breeds evil. The temptation from the devil is seriously an awfully tough test. I used to be a sensible child but even I get lured by such temptations. Thank god, I was stopped. Early enough to realise too, how unexpected I can be.