biabia (:

A few days ago, I was still in disbelief that I was flying away in a week’s time. It seemed like rather surreal that it was coming.

Just this morning, I felt the scary vibes. Holy shit, I am flying in just 5 days. 5 days is so damn freaking short. I realised, all of a sudden, I haven’t met up properly with my good friends. I haven’t met RV friends properly. Only had this short prata supper with Kiats and WX. Short meet up with 2A. Didn’t even meet XYZ. Didnt meet Huang Cheng mates. Ha, man, now I regret not planning my holidays properly. It always happens.

Well, at least I didn’t let myself down in some aspects. I met 71 quite often. (: Times with the class are horribly enjoyable. From the dim sum buffet, gged class outing, taiwan trip discussion, MAMBO NITE, xlb buffet and Timbre. Man we met up so many times this summer! I won’t forget how Yuming rejected my request to join?the “male moment”, haha. We’ll go to Mt?Sophia or Art House when I am back!!!?Zeqi, don’t forget to plan Maria’s birthday!!!?I trust you with this very important task! ACE and YV stuff were done. Kept in touch with my volunteer friends.

Tonight’s meeting was the last YV 09 meeting I could attend. Our Book is almost done, just a little touching up left. I was in shock that it was my last meeting, actually. That’s why I couldn’t share all that I wanted to share with the comm just now. When YV08 ended, I told myself, I would only go back to YV if it doesn’t change. It is still the same old traditional YV, focusing on social service, training, grooming and growing students to make a difference in the society. Where we don’t use extravagent methods, nor imba physiological mapping to win the participants. Where we win their hearts using our hearts, and make them share the same feelings as we do, join our friendship that would last you a lifetime. If it were to change, I thought, I won’t come back.

Afterall, I still did. Change is inevitable. But at?least, the main structure of YV remained. YV08 was another impactful year, when I got to be a TF again. Got to bond with our awesome #1 TFs. Witness YV grow big with more participants. It made me feel so much better about life after that ugly half a year in NTU. That energiser turned Sylvia on full batt.?I told myself, I must come back to YV every year until I graduate from NBS.

It wasn’t easy to decide on going for exchange.?Besides issues on money, academic workload, specialisation, exposure etc, I was worried about my involvement in YV. Of?course, everyone will tell me pick going for exchange, cos it is once in a lifetime and I won’t regret it. True enough, but my attachment to YV was quite beyond what I imagined. I had a struggle to choose between being more involved in YV or to go for exchange. I choose the best of both worlds, to go for exchange and help out with YV as much as possible.

I’m very honoured to spearhead Our Book, to revamp the YV file and to revive the YV Chicken Soup, together with Nina, Hui Bin, Zhing and Kenny. About planning a YV camp, I am most comfortable and familiar with the procedures and things to be done. It was the first time I did somthing that was not concrete, with no formula to follow, with no seniors to consult. All I had was five brains and whatever creative juices we possessed. The whole process from conceptualising, to gathering materials, to compiling was enriching and different from what I used to do. I learned about working on a brand new project and my friends through a different media. Believe?I cuold have done better, the product could have been out earlier. But I guess, people have their failures at times, and for me, I was a little distracted from work. Had been swarmed with YV, preparation for the trip and meeting up with friends. I didn’t segement my time properly. I’m lucky to have gotten Our Book done and can fly off without much worries on this.

When Vick talked about how the comm should be working and the attitudes that we should carry, memories flashed back. He shared about how?I changed from a pessimist to an optimist with so much more energy to reach out to others. And he is right there, that was my life changing moment in YV. That made me so much more a better person and I hate going back to the negative self when I fell in the pool at times. In 2006, I learned about proper ettiques in a committee, the positive attitudes that we should have for our fellow friends in the comm, and how to brave to wind and storm because we believe in our good cause and we want to make YV a success. At times, we keep working on YV because it is an obligation, because I need to report at the next meeting, because this other person is chasing me for this. Yes, it is tiring and tedious, I know that. But I love this perception that Siew Mui shared before. There are many things we want in life. The route would never be easy, we need to work hard to realise these dreams, overcome obstacles that stop us from realising them, resist tempatations that distract our focus. All the hardships that we, as a team, go through, would never go to waste. We create a chance for 20 TFs to learn how to manage and facilitate a group. We create a chance for 200 participants to learn and practice direct volunteering. We create a chance for countless beneficiaries and friends there to enjoy a day of our company. See the multiplier effect? It just keeps going on and on.

Tonight, I was truly re-charged. I finally got to relive in one of those memorable 2006 meetings, where I could feel from the bottom of my heart that I am doing something meaningful, in the right way,?even without witnessing the end result yet. I observed how Vick links up all the little little events to this huge chain effect. It was just amazing. Wish I could do that one day, so that I can impact my friends better, for them to climb up this positive ladder and create a better world for us. Team Yv 2009, jiayou k, the show is still on and we will do up a great one! Keep me updated on how’s everyone going!! All the best for TF camp!! (:

One last family gathering before I fly. Thank goodness, I felt that urgency this morning, haha will fully utilise my tiem tommorrow (: Gonna have a list of things that I wanna eat before I fly off!!! :D

I THINK IT WAS A BRILLANT WEEKEND!

saturday was niceeeeeee. cos yv08 endedddddddd it was awesome to meet all the awesome people again. my group was so sweet. thanks for allllll the notes. (: super appreciated. thanks to lyon’s group for the speaker-cushion! HA. a thought came to me upon reading all the letters: what exactly have i done over this december that made people feel inspired about volunteering and that they had made a pleasant friend whom they would want to keep for life. (i found the answer, credits to nina:”you may not know but it is there” – YV song II) I was so FREAKING TOUCHED that i teared a little when reading the loooong letters from them and listening to the phone call. seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? It is totally scary that friends tell me that they have made an impact on their lives after our friendships started out for only a month. Totally, unbelievable.

our group!

Having a party with little time to plan was a bad idea. Having no budget for a party, catering to 50 people wasn’t pretty too. Marina Barrage is amazing, you can make all the noise at night. Ha. All was fun still (: Watching people play stupid games. HAHA. boxers on tracy, g-string on fahan, disgusting milkshake + saliva, sucking – from the milk bottle… HA, I hope the Vday dinner can realise man. Parties are so fun!

Guess the ingredients

John, happily sucking for a milk bottle

71 was great company! (: I miss allllll the niaoing I got from the boys. And I got it from the first moment I meet them at adams road fc. They just meng niao-ed me. Although I was losing my voice and getting ill, I was really happy to see them and be with them that night. I miss cai cai’s sexy voice, I miss maria’s wiki explanations, I miss calling “da bing ge”, I miss yumings angst, I miss paulines “xiang wo ma?”, I miss cheryls “darling”, I miss watching da sao eat xiao mi mi, I miss being enthu about being on time for lessons with elaine and mannying, I miss mitch’s gruchiness, I miss yows shyness, I miss ma’s sexy legs, I miss joannes smile, I miss hannahs: “huh?”, I miss watching foongs stone, I miss being niaoed about gary, I miss eeloongs playfulness, I miss chunruis crazy talks, I miss rebeccas blurness, I miss xiangsu’s quietness, I miss alicias long hair, I miss weixins answers, I miss yangs imba brains, I miss dennys cuteness, i miss watching ksiong sleep with his eyes open. i miss, i miss. didnt expect myself to miss hwachong, miss 71 sooooo much. life is no longer like before. ): i cant even speak to my uni friends the way i speak to 71 ): NIWAYS, I almost got dunked by yuming, mitch and bingge. lol, i forgot why i didnt get dunk, but it was damn tiring can. ha. yang’s place is a good one to dunk ppl, cos he has a washing machine AND drier at home. LOL. seriously.

And we did it, Bee, edmund goh and myself. After 5 hours of sitting at central, we got that piece of paper – the ticket to mayday’s OPEN AIR CONCERT at stadium green this coming sunday. Every year, it becomes crazier and crazier. It started off with albums, 100buck ticket, t-shirts, more albums, super ex t-shirt, album, 151buck ticket, shirt, album. And now, QUEUEING for a ticket for hours. luckily edmund went early at  6 plus. about 80 ppl were before him in the queue. those who came later were under the hot sun ): luckily they managed to get tickets too. We should had gone at 2pm. Didnt have to queue. LOL oh well, we were plain kiasu and paranoid. It was still cool being the first block to receive the tickets!

Got home and was super tired. Was so happy to be home once again cos I didnt sleep at home for 2 nights. Though, it always seemed to papa and mami that I had fun outside and I enjoy being outside, I am always truly glad to be home, safe and sound, to share with them and my brothers what happened outside, while watching the tv, dramas, eating meals, snacks. Man, school is starting and I’ve to return to where ugliness is rampant ): I need more strength to face this.

Thank goodness that results were fine. but it is no slacking time next sem. (:

I want some time alone. to think, of resolutions. of directions. to make decisions. time time time.

congratulations to all my friends on receiving their A level certificates. whether they were good or bad, i think we are all trying to overcome this turning point in our lives and are making tough decisions. i’m sure everything will turn out fine for my friends. as long as we stay happy, nothing will go wrong. (:

applause to 71! yey, we all did well. some of us were really stunned by our results, especially econs, for either we had no idea what we wrote or we did not complete our essays. anyways, i’m happy for my classmates. the hard work really paid off. we hung around in school to thank our teachers to six odd before having dinner at an Italian restaurant near school. the girls had some lot of fun vandalising doodling on the mahjong paper there, haha.

we then left for ben and jerry, where mister yang zeqi, our 8 distinction scholar treated us to the 20 scoop monster tub. cheryl and i were sitting at the far edge, making it hard for us to scoop. hence, we decided to stone and make pauline seah serve us, lol. da bing ge was also sabo-ed to sing “jenny” along with the live band, haha.

in all, friday was really tiring. i woke up early (something really rare these days), for a run at hwachong (which is even more rare). didnt manage to finish the run for i got dizzy again, ZZZ. the school compound feels different. i have been working underground for three months and i miss the air outside. i miss the noise at the benches, i miss the sun, i miss the breeze at school. i miss seeing the people i want to see, the friends that i want to be part of my life. sigh, i miss school.

i went to ntu open house with sao the next morning. got a paper bag full of brochures and goodies home, it was really heavy. hmm, it was good that i could learn more about the course i want but i got quite uneasy with the fact that i may be going to a university that was so easy accessible to others. accessible not in geographical terms but in figurative terms. i need to give this more thought in the coming weeks. will have to work on scholarships now.

left for huangcheng at around noon. it was great to see what we can do at huangcheng again. the theatre never fails to show me that endless possibilities do exist and how much we can do with our lives. i miss being so passionate about what i do. i miss being useful. it is the kind of zhi zhuo of huangcheng ren that makes our performances, our work so touching. no wonder seniors come back every year to watch the show, to sing “chang yi shou hua chu de ge” with the juniors again and again. wenen and i had our fair share of excitement as we screwed up the zong cai xie mu, lol. anyway, well done juniors. you deserve all the ovation.

my little nephew come over to my house ytd! heh, he is just so cuteeeeeeeeeeee.

stick out your tongue!

he’s doing his fake yawn!

i am getting confused, uncertain and vexed.