biabia (:

1 Nov, Sun

My cranberry cocktail!

Visited the cocktail place – House of Bols. It showcased the history of the company – Bols – producing fine liquor for cocktail, especially well liked by bartenders.

Was really amazed and wowed by the history of the company. I admit I do not know much about drinking and liquor. However, to learn that a brand, a well-known brand can have so much history, I’m really in awe. It’s really not easy, to live through time, to endure through difficult times. Even to set up is tough. To get the money, to get the recipes, to improve them… And then to manage your employees, find the best way to keep the recipe secret… Refine even the bottle shape to appeal to bartenders who help evolve this entire trade.. Imagine if bartending didn’t become an art… It’s so wow. Like how humans make things become a skill, an art, something the entire world knows about and have a pool of people who enjoy your products or service… Just amazing, how Man changed himself and changed the world…

There is so much more in life than what we see. Do you know how many stateless people are wondering in the waters of Cambodia, Thailand and many more countries, waiting from dawn to dusk, hoping that their fathers or husbands manage to catch some fish home to feed the family? Do you know how many children live in inaccessible mountainous areas, are so keen to learn but don’t have proper materials and teachers? Do you know how lucky you are to have a complete family, a nice warm shelter for all your life, when there are people who come from broken families and never got to build their own happy one too?  Yet everyday, we don’t seem to appreciate the hot meals our mothers prepare for us, our parents constant nagging for us to sleep early, play less computer… Why is it that we kids, humans, instead of viewing it as them expressing love in their own way, think they mistreat us and dislike them?

However, amidst all the tough challenges that come by, there are always people standing strong and resilient. I cannot imagine how Derrick, from the 3rd episode of “P.S. I’m sorry” encouraged himself for 4, 5 years to keep going, pick up skills and do well in work to prove to his father that he has changed and is no longer the old him who doesn’t give know his priorities. And it was so touching to see how Alex Lim, in the 2nd episode, really bucked up when his principal gave him the last chance to prove himself after he was sent to the Boy’s Home.  With only 3 months to prepare for N levels then, he topped the school at the exam. He just received the Stars of Shine award from MCYS and is active in working with teens, sharing his life story.

So many people, struggle so much to survive, to become a better person. They meet with obstacles, lack of opportunities. And when they finally realise the better route to take, they didn’t let anything stop them. They grow to be persons with remarkable spirit. But why, why is it that there is just as many people doing the reverse? Not valuing all that they have. Escape from all their responsibilities. Choosing to do the wrong things. Letting their loved ones down. And not respecting themselves. Why do they end up enjoying sinful indulgence, or doing foolish irrational things? Why can’t they exert more control over their principles, their values? And hold true to what they care and believe in? Do they even know what they really care and hold close to their hearts?

I guess I’m so right. This is a test. Such a real test.

The power of using 2 computers simultaneously!

I realised why I can’t survive overseas. Cos my closest family and friends aren’t around. I know that the people I meet here won’t be there all my life… I subconsciously don’t devote so much emotions and time into people I meet here…

I just watched our class video which Wei Xing uploaded on Facebook. Reminded me of all the memories we had in RV. It might feel like reminiscing about our silly secondary school days to most of the 4A peeps. However, to me, it meant so much more. Because I’m so far away from home. Makes me miss my friends back at home. Simple actions can mean a sky difference to different people.

Those days, were such simpler.

Was also viewing pictures of the Canadian cousins trip to Asia. Lily’s pictures from her photo shoot were SOOOOOOOOOOOOO PREEETTTTYYY! Miss them man. Though we spent less than 1 week together, we still try to keep in contact. The relationship is rather magical in the sense that we are not blood related, we are distant relatives; we didn’t grow up together. Yet, we look forward to hosting each other. We totally enjoyed their company when they came over to Singapore. It was phenomenal, more than 40 people dressed in our very own LimSimiTeh blue trademark shirt. In return, they kept inviting us over to Canada, cos they want to host us, bring us around too. It is just so intriguing.

I realised, my roots are still at home. It just doesn’t feel the same, no matter how good life can be elsewhere.

A few days ago, I was still in disbelief that I was flying away in a week’s time. It seemed like rather surreal that it was coming.

Just this morning, I felt the scary vibes. Holy shit, I am flying in just 5 days. 5 days is so damn freaking short. I realised, all of a sudden, I haven’t met up properly with my good friends. I haven’t met RV friends properly. Only had this short prata supper with Kiats and WX. Short meet up with 2A. Didn’t even meet XYZ. Didnt meet Huang Cheng mates. Ha, man, now I regret not planning my holidays properly. It always happens.

Well, at least I didn’t let myself down in some aspects. I met 71 quite often. (: Times with the class are horribly enjoyable. From the dim sum buffet, gged class outing, taiwan trip discussion, MAMBO NITE, xlb buffet and Timbre. Man we met up so many times this summer! I won’t forget how Yuming rejected my request to join?the “male moment”, haha. We’ll go to Mt?Sophia or Art House when I am back!!!?Zeqi, don’t forget to plan Maria’s birthday!!!?I trust you with this very important task! ACE and YV stuff were done. Kept in touch with my volunteer friends.

Tonight’s meeting was the last YV 09 meeting I could attend. Our Book is almost done, just a little touching up left. I was in shock that it was my last meeting, actually. That’s why I couldn’t share all that I wanted to share with the comm just now. When YV08 ended, I told myself, I would only go back to YV if it doesn’t change. It is still the same old traditional YV, focusing on social service, training, grooming and growing students to make a difference in the society. Where we don’t use extravagent methods, nor imba physiological mapping to win the participants. Where we win their hearts using our hearts, and make them share the same feelings as we do, join our friendship that would last you a lifetime. If it were to change, I thought, I won’t come back.

Afterall, I still did. Change is inevitable. But at?least, the main structure of YV remained. YV08 was another impactful year, when I got to be a TF again. Got to bond with our awesome #1 TFs. Witness YV grow big with more participants. It made me feel so much better about life after that ugly half a year in NTU. That energiser turned Sylvia on full batt.?I told myself, I must come back to YV every year until I graduate from NBS.

It wasn’t easy to decide on going for exchange.?Besides issues on money, academic workload, specialisation, exposure etc, I was worried about my involvement in YV. Of?course, everyone will tell me pick going for exchange, cos it is once in a lifetime and I won’t regret it. True enough, but my attachment to YV was quite beyond what I imagined. I had a struggle to choose between being more involved in YV or to go for exchange. I choose the best of both worlds, to go for exchange and help out with YV as much as possible.

I’m very honoured to spearhead Our Book, to revamp the YV file and to revive the YV Chicken Soup, together with Nina, Hui Bin, Zhing and Kenny. About planning a YV camp, I am most comfortable and familiar with the procedures and things to be done. It was the first time I did somthing that was not concrete, with no formula to follow, with no seniors to consult. All I had was five brains and whatever creative juices we possessed. The whole process from conceptualising, to gathering materials, to compiling was enriching and different from what I used to do. I learned about working on a brand new project and my friends through a different media. Believe?I cuold have done better, the product could have been out earlier. But I guess, people have their failures at times, and for me, I was a little distracted from work. Had been swarmed with YV, preparation for the trip and meeting up with friends. I didn’t segement my time properly. I’m lucky to have gotten Our Book done and can fly off without much worries on this.

When Vick talked about how the comm should be working and the attitudes that we should carry, memories flashed back. He shared about how?I changed from a pessimist to an optimist with so much more energy to reach out to others. And he is right there, that was my life changing moment in YV. That made me so much more a better person and I hate going back to the negative self when I fell in the pool at times. In 2006, I learned about proper ettiques in a committee, the positive attitudes that we should have for our fellow friends in the comm, and how to brave to wind and storm because we believe in our good cause and we want to make YV a success. At times, we keep working on YV because it is an obligation, because I need to report at the next meeting, because this other person is chasing me for this. Yes, it is tiring and tedious, I know that. But I love this perception that Siew Mui shared before. There are many things we want in life. The route would never be easy, we need to work hard to realise these dreams, overcome obstacles that stop us from realising them, resist tempatations that distract our focus. All the hardships that we, as a team, go through, would never go to waste. We create a chance for 20 TFs to learn how to manage and facilitate a group. We create a chance for 200 participants to learn and practice direct volunteering. We create a chance for countless beneficiaries and friends there to enjoy a day of our company. See the multiplier effect? It just keeps going on and on.

Tonight, I was truly re-charged. I finally got to relive in one of those memorable 2006 meetings, where I could feel from the bottom of my heart that I am doing something meaningful, in the right way,?even without witnessing the end result yet. I observed how Vick links up all the little little events to this huge chain effect. It was just amazing. Wish I could do that one day, so that I can impact my friends better, for them to climb up this positive ladder and create a better world for us. Team Yv 2009, jiayou k, the show is still on and we will do up a great one! Keep me updated on how’s everyone going!! All the best for TF camp!! (:

One last family gathering before I fly. Thank goodness, I felt that urgency this morning, haha will fully utilise my tiem tommorrow (: Gonna have a list of things that I wanna eat before I fly off!!! :D

Lately, I’ve been ulti tired with ACE, with volunteering. Especially when reforms have been ongoing and I totally dislike the unpleasant effects of them. Things got me so frustrated that I often questioned myself, is this is best place to stay? Won’t I be better off with another group, or if I go pioneer another group?

I think after the TF training, I am super duper sure that I didn’t make the wrong choice to continue volunteering here. Ther concept is always the same, we do things, make mistakes, we share, brainstorm, care for one another, grow and finally inspire new volunteers to keep going. It stuck me that the feeling at ACE is the same as all the other volunteering experiences I enjoyed when I was having this really long chat with Alicia. It was long, but totally nice and heartwarming. It is the same thing I go through with YV peeps, we chat over our lives, what we believe in, what changes we hope to see, what do we treasure in life, what else we want to do in our lives… It’s really amazing, the way we forge and maintain our friendships. Even an inital intern who was supposed to help with admin stuff, get infected to feel the same as we do and enjoy the whole process with us, I think we are seriously amazing people who do amazing things.

Despite feeling like shit about straining my injuried ankles from all the shit load walking at ECP, I was really very very happy to go through another SVC activity. Daniel reminded me of my weakness when I was sharing about how distracted I am about like problems and loopholes we are facing. Honestly, I was having alot of difficulties concentrating on observing every little thing I could at training, making mental notes about them, and thinking of solutions calmly. I never know how to make small steps and not worry over little things. Cos I always get emotionally involved in every little problem I notice, I get too overwhelmed with the whole load of issues in front of me, and can never be able to solve them to my fullest ability. Haha, even though I was reminded of my old long weakness, it stills feels good to have an old friend sharing things close to our hearts. (:

These 2 days simply reassured me that I am right to stay on. I just knew that there was more to this. Everytime I returned with doubts, I always go home with a bag load of things to take away. Even if things turn out to be a complete failure, they can never take away my friends I know from volunteering, who can last me one lifetime.

Read the rest…

was moved to tears while reading my previous blog posts.

the last time i cried was when i called vick at the beginning of the semester. i was struggling with all my emotions and perspective because i was too caught up with feeling unhappiness with the place, people and issues. for the past several years, i had never experienced so much disgust and had never been unable to control such intensed negative emotions about things out of my control. he reminded me that i have something extremely valuable with me. not just something, but the entire concept of living, the way to treat my friends, the postive view on things. yv gave me so many opportunities to practise this, and i had the privilege of improving myself over the past four years and counting. i should apply what i have learnt in yv, put it to good use, instead of keeping all the bad emotions to myself and not attempting to do anything to improve the situation, which isnt what yv has taught me either (:

today, i was surfing the net and randomly decided to visit my blog. i started reading from the first entry on this limsimiteh site. the whole feeling that yv came to me. the process of learning, enlightenment and growing came fluttering to me. last year had been one filled with observations of reality and humanity. jaded or touching, everything was close to my heart. it made me feel so at peace. everything was so freaking touching that i was moved to tears about what i have experienced. sylvia has proven to be a strong and sensible girl. she will pull through whatever that comes ahead of her. (:

I THINK IT WAS A BRILLANT WEEKEND!

saturday was niceeeeeee. cos yv08 endedddddddd it was awesome to meet all the awesome people again. my group was so sweet. thanks for allllll the notes. (: super appreciated. thanks to lyon’s group for the speaker-cushion! HA. a thought came to me upon reading all the letters: what exactly have i done over this december that made people feel inspired about volunteering and that they had made a pleasant friend whom they would want to keep for life. (i found the answer, credits to nina:”you may not know but it is there” – YV song II) I was so FREAKING TOUCHED that i teared a little when reading the loooong letters from them and listening to the phone call. seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? It is totally scary that friends tell me that they have made an impact on their lives after our friendships started out for only a month. Totally, unbelievable.

our group!

Having a party with little time to plan was a bad idea. Having no budget for a party, catering to 50 people wasn’t pretty too. Marina Barrage is amazing, you can make all the noise at night. Ha. All was fun still (: Watching people play stupid games. HAHA. boxers on tracy, g-string on fahan, disgusting milkshake + saliva, sucking – from the milk bottle… HA, I hope the Vday dinner can realise man. Parties are so fun!

Guess the ingredients

John, happily sucking for a milk bottle

71 was great company! (: I miss allllll the niaoing I got from the boys. And I got it from the first moment I meet them at adams road fc. They just meng niao-ed me. Although I was losing my voice and getting ill, I was really happy to see them and be with them that night. I miss cai cai’s sexy voice, I miss maria’s wiki explanations, I miss calling “da bing ge”, I miss yumings angst, I miss paulines “xiang wo ma?”, I miss cheryls “darling”, I miss watching da sao eat xiao mi mi, I miss being enthu about being on time for lessons with elaine and mannying, I miss mitch’s gruchiness, I miss yows shyness, I miss ma’s sexy legs, I miss joannes smile, I miss hannahs: “huh?”, I miss watching foongs stone, I miss being niaoed about gary, I miss eeloongs playfulness, I miss chunruis crazy talks, I miss rebeccas blurness, I miss xiangsu’s quietness, I miss alicias long hair, I miss weixins answers, I miss yangs imba brains, I miss dennys cuteness, i miss watching ksiong sleep with his eyes open. i miss, i miss. didnt expect myself to miss hwachong, miss 71 sooooo much. life is no longer like before. ): i cant even speak to my uni friends the way i speak to 71 ): NIWAYS, I almost got dunked by yuming, mitch and bingge. lol, i forgot why i didnt get dunk, but it was damn tiring can. ha. yang’s place is a good one to dunk ppl, cos he has a washing machine AND drier at home. LOL. seriously.

And we did it, Bee, edmund goh and myself. After 5 hours of sitting at central, we got that piece of paper – the ticket to mayday’s OPEN AIR CONCERT at stadium green this coming sunday. Every year, it becomes crazier and crazier. It started off with albums, 100buck ticket, t-shirts, more albums, super ex t-shirt, album, 151buck ticket, shirt, album. And now, QUEUEING for a ticket for hours. luckily edmund went early at  6 plus. about 80 ppl were before him in the queue. those who came later were under the hot sun ): luckily they managed to get tickets too. We should had gone at 2pm. Didnt have to queue. LOL oh well, we were plain kiasu and paranoid. It was still cool being the first block to receive the tickets!

Got home and was super tired. Was so happy to be home once again cos I didnt sleep at home for 2 nights. Though, it always seemed to papa and mami that I had fun outside and I enjoy being outside, I am always truly glad to be home, safe and sound, to share with them and my brothers what happened outside, while watching the tv, dramas, eating meals, snacks. Man, school is starting and I’ve to return to where ugliness is rampant ): I need more strength to face this.

Thank goodness that results were fine. but it is no slacking time next sem. (:

I want some time alone. to think, of resolutions. of directions. to make decisions. time time time.

Nods filled up the awkward sliences. I’m always quite lost to what to say at such wakes as attendee. Totally clueless to what to say, what to ask, what not to ask.

However awkward it is, suppose it only feels right to be there to support.

“you have that enlighted look” -Vick Chi. LOL. that imba guy. i can feel yv cominggggggg! it’s always the season to feel the passion and hype all coming back. if only i could get to feel this every year, and feel how we are “joined at our hearts”